Robert Pollard hits the half-century mark today...

...or some shit like that, at least that's what they tell me anyway. I have invested well over $1000, if not closer to two-grand in Bob's various enterprises. And what do I get in return? Not a single thank you, not even so much as goddamn handshake. I have gotten some pretty cool tunes out of the deal though, and continue to do so, just on a less frequent basis. In 2003 a list of about two-thousand proposed Guided By Voices song titles/one-off band names, authored by yours truly made it into Bob's scaly mitts, but has he availed himself to utilize so much as one? Hardly. Such proposed titles as "Third Spasm Nosebleed," "Canned Alaska," and "Drool Floodplain," ostensibly failed to make it past our man's stringent quality control. His loss if you ask me.

Long may Robert Pollard run, for even when he puts out shit, it's his shit and we all know it. Most of us could do far worse. Bob was supposedly quoted as saying, "I could write five songs on the can, and three of them would be good." These days, if it's one gem for every five clunkers so be it. Here's to a guy who can kick start his career into high-gear at 36 years of age. There's a few more hopeful years for me yet on that timetable, and it gives me quiet (and cold) comfort.

For this upload, I've got a GBV smorgasbord for you true believers out there. To Trigger a Synapse was procured song-by-song (all 43 of them) on classic-era Napster. Slapped together at various bit-rates by god knows who, it's merely a solid lineup of GBV demos, acoustic cuts, Peel session tracks, covers, and the occasional live offering. Some songs cut off, but no great loss to most of you, as a few of these have made it onto GBV box sets and whatnot. Dig in, and wish the Fading Captain a happy 50th. Hats off you fantastic bastard.

To Trigger a Synapse

01 - Becoming Unglued

02 - Shit Midas

03 - Taco, Buffalo, Bird Dog & Jesus

04 - The Goldheart Festering Moon Directory (acoustic)

05 - Jason Lowenstein's a Wanker

06 - The Day is Done

07 - Benders Bluffing Muscles

08 - Delayed Reaction Brats

09 - Stumbling Blocks to Stepping Stones

10 - Even Break

11 - No One Can Take You Away

12 - Talk to me

13 - Why Did You Land (slow)

14 - Troopers in the Town

15 - Whiskey on Your Breath

16 - Trap Soul Door (live)

17 - Navy (Per Ubu cover)

18 - Quality of Armor (demo)

19 - All Hail the Weed King (acoustic demo)

20 - Run

21 - Office of Hearts (demo - cut off)

22 - Special Astrology for the Warlock Tour

23 - The Goldheart Festering Moon Directory (electric)

24 - Smothered in Hugs (Cheap Trick version)

25 - Deathtrot & Warlock Riding a Rooster (rock version)

26 - Some Drilling Implied (quiet version)

27 - Did I See That (live improv.)

28 - Hardcore UFOs (different lead part)

29 - Greenface (longer version)

30 - Lariat Man (demo)

31 - Cruise (cleaner mix)

32 - Wondering Boy Poet (Live)

33 - My Valuable Hunting Knife (faster rock version)

34 - Sitting Still (REM cover, live - incomplete)

35 - Tomorrow Never Knows

36 - Party (Peel Session - incomplete)

37 - Striped White Jets (Peel Session)

38 - Atom Eyes (Peel Session)

39 - Cut-Out Witch (Peel Session)

40 - Man Called Aerodynamics (Peel Session)

41 - Bright Paper Werewolves (Peel Session)

42 - Lord of Overstock (Peel Session)

43 - Wondering Boy Poet (Peel Session)

Hear